Sunday, September 9, 2018

"I'm sorry" NOT healthy?

Healthy couples seldom use the words "I'm sorry" to resolve their problems.  Part of the reason seems to be that doing wrong is known between healthy partners as never an intentional act. Believing an apology is owed creates division, in-equality, a one up / one down interaction and the notion that a hurt effected was purposeful.  What healthy couples do instead, is they move about with problems as if they have spilled milk.  Just as happens when milk is actually spilled it is known by these healthy folks that the intention was NEVER to do so on purpose.  It is as harms occur, it is known to be accidental.  Perhaps, because of this more reasonable view of each other, the loving ones are better able to join each other in cleaning up the mess.  "I'm sorry" is culturally and morally relevant; it is common and "normal" in its use.  However, it is not used by the healthiest and happiest of couples. Accidents happen; clean them up!

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PHOTO CREDIT: Noemi Jiminez, Unsplash.com